Differentiation
Differentiation: The ability to be in emotional contact with others yet still autonomous (in control) in one’s own emotional functioning.
Last week, I spent half of it away to a renewal group with 6 other ministry wives. It was an intense week of sharing and praying and encouraging one another in our walk wth Christ.
I've been thinking and reflecting the week, now that I'm back to normality again, and the biggest challenge that I got from the week was this concept of differentiation.
Differentiation is this concept that acknowledges that we are always going to be in a relationship whether we like it or not. To be differentiated is to be emotionally invested in the relationships that we are in without the emotional dependance on the other. What that means is that we can still be in control of our emotions, actions and reactions apart from the other person's emotions, reactions and actions towards us.
To me, this is a life-changing concept. I'm still far from fully understanding and applying it in my own life but what a wonderful concept.
Life is so full of disappointment, relationship breakdowns, broken dreams and expectations. I've only recently heard of stories of people leaving a church because they felt that the church wasn't doing what they think is right.
I believe that as we know another person/group deeper, the more disappointed we will be because we are all so sinful!
Thankfully, it doesn't have to be that way. We can react to others in a different and more positive way. Our reactions doesn't have to depend on the other to "perform" the way we want them to, we can be differentiated! We can be in control in how we react to others.
This is just a small glimpse of what's on my mind right now. It's not complete but I hope I'm giving something to think about. If you'd like to know more about differentiation, see article below.