weary i come...

"Why do you say, O Jacob,
and speak, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
and my right is disregarded by my God”?

28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.

29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.

30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.”

Isaiah 40:27-31

Today i heard a very encouraging sermon on podcast. The sermon is about "flying with Christ". Sounds weird i know, but basically it's about what it means to be a Christian and living as one. Often we think that when we become a real "mature" Christian, life would be smooth sailing. When God is in the driver seat, He will drive us without any troubles whatsoever. But is that really the case?

When we hit a bump or made a sharp turn in life, we began to get angry either at God or at ourselves. At God for making life not as easy as it should, or at ourself - we blame ourselves thinking that the bump was created because of our certain personality, or a mistake that we made. When things are rough, its almost too certain that we will start to play the blame game.

For me, the temptation is always to blame myself.

I'm not trying to excuse all my mistakes and sins to this, but being depressed for 2 years do changed the way i look at myself. I'm still "detoxing" from negative self-image that i had during those past two years (and please2 don't pity me - this is just another step of life that everyone has to go through once every so often). I guess i'm much better at it now, but every now and then, there would be voices inside of me screaming and banging in my head saying how bad, stupid, worthless i am, what a huge mistakes i made etc.

So i tend to live by the moment. I live by moment by moment response that i get from people. When you say "bump" or "wrong turn" in life, you would usually refer that to a big events in life that is bad. I would refer that bump to every single bad or unwanted response that i get from life. When my friends don't invite me to a dinner/ anything, i blame myself (for being so worthless and dull), when i get a bad mark, i blame myself for being so stupid, etc, you get the idea. It may sound stupid and impossible for anyone to think like this but that's me. And yes, indeed that is extreme, but it's ordinary day to day for me.

And if you listen to what i've just told you, you might wonder (and rightly so) - "where's God in all of these?" "Was God involved in my life at all - that i could say such a thing?"

I think not. I mean, rather than God not being involved - but I wasn't allowing Him to be involved in my life. I was rejecting His help, and I decided to drown in my own misery. I always remember what C.S. Lewis said in his book "self-pity is the negative form of pride". That was me.

I was so prideful that I thought even God could not solve my life problems. I was too prideful to think that God would want me to go through these obstacles myself so that I can grow with my own strength. How cocky of me!

Let's look at the verses above, i think the writer experienced the same experience as me:

"Why do you say, O Jacob,
and speak, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
and my right is disregarded by my God”?

28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.

29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.

30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.”

At the beginning of the passage the writer says:

"Why do you say, O Jacob,

and speak, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
and my right is disregarded by my God”?"

He was asking himself - "why do you say to yourself that God is not sovereign enough to see your bad deeds? "

So I think what happened here was that the Israelites thought that God had forsaken them. They thought that they had been so bad that even God turned His eyes away from them and all their deeds - that even their "right is disregarded by (their) God".

And when you're at your lowest - it's easy to think that way doesn't it? to think that you're so bad that even God has given up on you - and you're left on your own with your own means. That no one else cares for you and there is no one whom you can talk to or share your pain with. I mean the writer here is saying that he had been so bad that even God wouldn't even hear of them having any righteousness left in them. That their "right is DISREGARDED by God". I mean that's really strong - to have God going to such an extent as to disregarding them and their "attempt" to do right.

But the writer rightly remembered one thing:

28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.

This is GOD that we are talking about. The supreme almighty God! No matter how bad we are - we cannot hurt Him so much as to make Him forget about us - to look away from us and disregard us. This is the Creator of the EARth! the Everlasting God! He does not faint or grow weary (of us); His understanding is unsearchable.

Isn't that an uplifting and super encouraging fact!?

He knows! He is GOD - and He will always be God! the Supreme God.

Even at our lowest, He will still be God. No matter how much we insult, reject and even kill Him, He will still be God who loves us and continually call upon us to come back to His arms. To ask Him for forgiveness and mercy and grace.

Ezekiel wrote: "As I live, declares the LORD GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die, O house of Israel?" (Ezek 33:11)

Can you see? He doesn't want us to die - He longs for us to seek His righteousness, to seek Him for help when we feel that we are nothing and we have nothing to pay Him back with. He longs for us to live - to live in His blessings and strength alone. To live in Him.

The last bit of this passage is particularly encouraging for us:

29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.

30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.”

Isn't that amazing?

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength!?

He gives just what we need, He is there and He loves us so much! He is such a good Father! I can picture a human father who is always ready to give his children a hand when they are about to fall. This is God! much more than us humans - not only will He hold us, He gives us strength and power when we need it. So much power that young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; ... shall run and not be weary..

Oh when I read that verse- I regretted that time when I didn't ask God to renew my strength. When I depended on my own "non-existent strength" to go on.

I still remember the B-PAY ad a few years back, the tag line is: "why do things the hard way?"

That's true isn't it? we often forget as a Christian that we have a God who is able, sovereign, The CREATOR of the universe. But we choose to depend on ourselves instead - silly aren't we?

I do hope this can encourage you who are reading this post: keep on hoping in the LORD - ask Him for strength for He is able. For

The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.

Prayer:

Thank You Father in heaven for being who You ARE! You are perfect, sovereign, mighty, merciful and gracious. You are the Creator yet You love Your creature so much that You would call us over and over again to come back to you - even though we reject You so many times. Thank You LORD Father, there is no word enough to express this gratitude in our heart.

Teach us to depend on You more - and to know You more so that in times of doubt we would be reminded of who You are and trust that You are true and faithful